My new LJ is...

adolescentbeat.livejournal.com

add it, unless i've added you!

=P

So, someone added me awhile ago and since I don't really have a massive friendslist or anything, I was all, "Cool," and really never cared, I guess. So I found out who that one person is and I'm psyched, so I comment on an entry. For absolutely no reason, the chick bans me...wtf?

I'm not mentioning names but she looks like a twelve year old who put on too much eyeliner.

Okay, that was mean and catty but whatevs.

I've been writing a lot. And I've decided to get a new LJ...I'll post back laterz with the new one.

birthday = good times.

but now, i'm horredously concerned. two of the kids i met in school, justin and ryan, are totally falling apart. yeah, i know that i apparently care about people way too quickly after i meet them, but jesus christ.

when i met justin, he was completely clean and was (and still is) a total sweetheart who wanted to write for a living, and he was so, so good. this was in october. and then...he's been falling apart. like, he's been suspended from school for showing up with twice the legal limit of alcohol in his bloodstream. he's been smoking pot again. and it makes me sad because he's not coming back to sshs, but instead going to hollywood, or royal, or monte vista. and he has so much potential, guys, jesus.

ryan was my computer apps buddy. my ex was one of his ex-friends and ryan was so cool to me that we just kept talking. this dude has always been falling apart, i guess, what with the smoking, the drinking, the drugs, and the visits to the mental hospital. apparently, he's planning to kill himself tonight. i don't know what to do, i don't have his number, i don't know.

this was rather pointless.

and i am proud.

jesus christ, i hate this. i hate not being able to talk to anyone anymore. i hate being sick. i hate not having anyone i fucking trust. i hate having to stay home. i hate falling over. i hate claritin. and most of all, i hate you. i don't even know why everything goes back to you, you fucking whore. maybe it was because you were my someone, my first choice, my back-up plan. the person who'd call to tell me homework and say happy birthday and the girl i did fucking everything with.

i'm done.

and no, this is not directed to anyone on my f-list.
<3

my state, my home, my county, my life, my everything.

(no, my houses aren't on fire.)

is burning down.

and all i can think of is "dude, i better not have fucking school tomorrow."

wtf is wrong with me?

Current Location: dad's
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: refused (voodoo people)

Yeah, I know I said I wouldn't be posting here, but fuck it.
I don't mean to brag or anything, but I wanted to share my schedule of concerts.

TOMORROW: The Academy Is... At the Wiltern. FUCK YESS.
SEPTEMBER 29TH: Bright Eyes! WITH MY DAD, HELLA RAD.
OCTOBER 2ND (MAYBE): A F I! DF only event, I'm going, provided I can snag tickets for it.
OCTOBER 13TH: THE MATCHES! with my mom.

And then whenever in November when AMELIE tours.

so, since i never update this, i figured i'd let everyone on f-list know that i'm doing all of my journaling on blogspot now.

refusingtobefound.blogspot.com

everything from my personal life is there now.

i swear, i have a magnetism to slashers everywhere.
lucia, amelia, and alyssa were talking about ferard.
granted, i go to the freak school, but still.

damn, this is pretty awesome.
everyone shares the same music tastes, and i swear, everytime i go out of class, it's a feast for the eyes.
hot boys EVERYWHERE.

okay. breif synopsis of the few who have really caught my eye.
there is this kid who stands behind me in PE.
(my PE class is mainly goths and nerds)
he is so fucking adorable.
his name is cody and he was talking about eggs in the desert today.

then there's ricky.
ricky is at least in 10th, and he came in late today, saying in a ridiculously stoned voice, "i got lost."
i thought it was a joke.
then i heard him forget his name.
and say aloud, "where the hell am i?"
his locker is one over from mine.

and then there's huggable kid.
he has shaant's hair, and is huge.
i want to hug him.

this are just the kids i see the most.

i went to my first warped tour yesterday.
it was so exciting and amazing.
i have no pictures, so that's sad.
this is super long.

okay.
i first saw amelie at the ernie ball battle of the bands stage.
i got barricade, which wasn't saying much since they only played for like, ten people.
they were so FUCKING amazing.
so then, my friends and i try to find their merch tent.
we can't.
we go back and ask ace where it is.
he doesn't know.
so then we ask justin where it is.
he says "over there, at the back. it's like one of the last ones."
WE WANDER AROUND FOR AN HOUR, TRYING TO FIND THE DAMN THING.
note to self: sometimes, amelie give shitty directions.
we get there, and we all buy shirts, so the girl working the table gives me six free stickers.
she also says that the band'll be there in half an hour.
so we go to the nearby hot topic/kevin says stage, and we watch some japanese band whose name escapes me.
then...
AUDREY KITCHING WALKS OVER, STANDS NEXT TO US, AND STARTS TALKING.
suprisingly, she was so, so nice. i got her to sign something, a handshake, and a hug.
so we go back to the amelie tent.
they're there and i flip out.
i got a hug from all of them, ace called me sweetheart, and justin signed my program with "justin. you stay classy."
it was funny.

we wander around, see bits of various bands.
then...it's time for THE MATCHES.
this was an eyeopening experience.
it was my first time in the crowd/pit/thing.
i was standing with my friend, but she left before they started playing because she felt claustrophobic.
what can i really say, it was pretty much made of amazing.
shaun is gorgeous.
super gorgeous and AMAZING.
so then, my friend and i left our other friend to see DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS.
(we weren't interested in getting killed.)
we went to the matches tent and stood in line, for like, an hour.
then.
I HUGGED THE MATCHES.
YAY.
then...we hightailed it to AVENGED SEVENFOLD, THE SUPRISE GUEST.
um, they reallykindasuckedalot.
so...we were bored.
and...i hugged three people with free hug signs.
then...we left because i felt gross/sick/yuck and my mommy wanted to.
so we missed ESCAPE THE FATE but i may be seeing them on september 12.
that's it.

-amanda

so, i'm moving.
again.
this time, from my dad's and I HATE PACKING. SO. SO. MUCH.
yes.
that's it.
i'm getting internet over there tomorrrow, so this does not phase me.
i also get fuse in my room now.
yay!

okay, now to my second subject:
my chemical romance.
rumor has it, they're not performing in their stupid black parrade uniforms anymore.
i like plainclothes!mcr, and threecheers!mcr.
...i hope the next cd will be better than the black parade.